Saints

Most Venerated Saint Miranda Cosgrove

St. Miranda Cosgrove is the Most Venerated Saint of the Band of Thieves.

McQueen Saint Karsten Armstrong

St. Karsten is one of the four founders of Thieves Uno, one of the three Majesterium members, one of the five members of the Natural Order, one of the co-writers of the Smatch-it Rule Book, and the current McQueen.

McQueen Saint William Carrera

St. William is one of the four founders of Thieves’ Uno, one of the three Majesterium members, one of the five members of the Natural Order, reviser of the Smatch-it Rule Book, and the former McQueen.

Saint Davin Welsh

St. Davin is one of the four founders of Thieves’ Uno, one of the three Majesterium members, one of the co-writers of the Smatch-it Rulebook, and one of the five members of the Natural Order.

Saint Daniel Mahon

St. Daniel is one of the four founders of Thieves’ Uno and the provider of the original deck.

Saint Cullen Carrera

St. Cullen is one of the five members of the Natural Order, one of the co-writers of the Smatch-it Rulebook, and the patron saint of middle children and people who are cool and have friends but aren’t the most popular.

Saint Maren Bohn

St. Maren is one of the five members of the Natural Order.

Saint Ashley Wiest

St. Ashley was one of the earliest players of Thieves’ Uno.

Saint Natalie Hetzel

St. Natalie was one of the earliest players of Thieves’ Uno.

Saint Joy Carrera

St. Joy was a chaperone of the trip Thieves’ Uno was founded.

Saint Richard Hetzel

St. Richard was a chaperone of the trip Thieves’ Uno was founded.

Saint Isaiah Schroeder

St. Isaiah is an Archbishop whose unwavering commitment to the Band earned him the Sainthood.

Saint Boxxy

St. Boxxy is a pre-tradition Saint who was artillerized sometime in 2016.

Saint Guido d’Arezzo

St. Guido is the patron saint of music. He created the modern musical notation system, and for this we are forever in his debt.

Saint Ta’mia Hedlin

St. Ta’mia is the patron saint of orthodoxy. She friend-zoned the leader of S.W.A.M.P, a formerly heretical cult, multiple times. She can be seen saying “Just wait until High School.”

Saint Howard Goodall

St. Howard Goodall of Big Bang fame is the patron saint of safe travels.

Saint Schnuckles

St. Schnuckles is the patron saint of the color blue. On his feast day, February 18th, you must wear the color blue.

Saint Sleepy Bear and Saint Chubbies

St. Sleepy Bear and St. Chubbies are co-patron Saints of Sleep.

Saint Sven and Saint ‘Bastion

St. Sven and St. ‘Bastion are co-patron Saints of good boys.

Saint Toby Maguire

St. Toby is the patron saint of basketball.

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