Karsten, McQueen of the Most Venerable Band of Thieves, appointed at Ica by the Magisterium, in accordance with the traditions passed on to us by all of those who played Uno before us, to all parishes scattered throughout the world: may peace be with you, and with your card decks.
I am writing this letter regarding major developments in the Band of Thieves. After much deliberation and consulting my most trusted bishops, I have come to the conclusion that the Band of Thieves’ Uno should hereby be referred to as the Band of Thieves. Of course, as it is with tradition, the Band of Thieves’ Uno is still an artillerized way to refer to the Band, but for most documents, the Band will be referred to as the Band of Thieves. All diplomas and proclamations using the traditional title are equally valid.
The reason for this change is the introduction of Venerable Orders and Societies. Most notably, we will be introducing the Super Smash Brethren (which will be dedicated to Patriarch William) and the Halo Order. These Venerable Orders and Societies are optional for all clergy members. For clarification, Thieves’ Uno is not a Venerable Order or Society—it is a pillar of the Band, and all clergy will be expected to be familiar with the Canon Law. However, laity will not be held to the same expectations, although we exhort clergy members to at least familiarize the laity with Thieves’ Uno.
Holding steadfast to the Most Venerable Tradition,